关于三分钟英语幽默小故事有哪些？

Five Months Older

The Second World War had begun, and John wanted to join the army, but he was only 16 years old, and boys were allowed to join only if they were over 18. So when the army doctor examined him, he said that he was 18.

But John‘s brother had joined the army a few days before, and the same doctor had examined him too. This doctor remembered the older boy‘s family name, so when he saw John‘s papers, he was surprised.

"How old are you?" he said.

"Eigh, sir," said John.

"But your brother was eigh, too," said the doctor. "Are you twins?"

"Oh, no, sir," said John, and his face went red. "My brother is five months older than I am."

大五个月

第二次世界大战开始了，约翰想参军，可他只有十六岁，当时规定男孩到十八岁才能入伍。所以军医给他进行体检时，他说他已经十八岁了。

可约翰的哥哥刚入伍没几天，而且也是这个军医给他做的检查。这位医生还记得他哥哥的姓。所以当他看到约翰的表格时，感到非常惊奇。

“你多大了?”军医问。

“十八，长官。”约翰说。

“可你的哥哥也是十八岁，你们是双胞胎吗?”

约翰脸红了，说：“哦，不是，长官，我哥哥比我大五个月。”

中英文对照幽默小故事

The Fox and the Grapes

One hot summer's day a Fox was strolling through an orchard till he came to a bunch of Grapes just ripening on a vine which had been trained over a lofty branch. "Just the thing to quench my thirst," quoth he. Drawing back a few paces, he took a run and a jump, and just missed the bunch. Turning round again with a One, Two, Three, he jumped up, but with no greater success. Again and again he tried after the tempting morsel, but at last had to give it up, and walked away with his nose in the air, saying: "I am sure they are sour."

故事内容：

炎热的夏天里，一只狐貍在果园漫步 （One hot summer's day a Fox was strolling through an orchard），看到一串熟透的葡萄沿著藤蔓高挂在上 （till he came to a bunch of Grapes just ripening on a vine which had been trained over a lofty branch.）。「解渴就靠这个了。」他这麼说著 （"Just the thing to quench my thirst," quoth he）。退了几步之後，他往前又跑又跳的 （Drawing back a few paces, he took a run and a jump），可惜没搆到那串葡萄 （and just missed the bunch），往後再退了几步，一、二、三，往上一跳 （Turning round again with a One, Two, Three, he jumped up），还是没有构到那串葡萄 （but with no greater success.）。他试了又试，只希望吃口诱人的葡萄 （Again and again he tried after the tempting morsel），可最後还是放弃了（but at last had to give it up），最後离开，鼻子嗅了嗅说 （and walked away with his nose in the air, saying）：「葡萄太酸了 （"I am sure they are sour."）。」

The moral is that：It is easy to despise what you cannot get.

(要鄙视得不到的东西，可真容易呢。)

人生多了酸的滋味，永远比连酸都没嚐过的人生来的圆满。

1.stroll （vi.）：散步

2.orchard （nc.）：果园

3.a bunch of ：一串

4.ripen （vi.）：变成熟，变鲜美

5.vine （nc.）：藤蔓

6.train （vt.）：让植物沿著一定的方向生长

7.lofty （adj.）：很高的

8.quench （vt.）：压抑；解渴

9.quoth （vt.）：说（文言）

10.morsel （nc.）：一口

英文幽默小故事带翻译

Plagiari *** A friend of mine who teachs European history at Washington University in St. Louis tell about the time he spotted a plagiarized term paper. He summoned the student to his office. "This isn't your work." he said. "Someone typed it for you straight out of the encyclopedia. "You cann't prove that!" the student sputtered. My friend amiled and show him the paper. Circled in red was: "Also see article on muni *** ." 抄 袭 我有个朋友在圣路易斯的华盛顿大学教欧洲历史，他说有一次他发现了一篇抄袭的学期论文。他把那个学生叫到了办公室。“这不是你写的，”他说，“有人帮你从百科全书上原封不动地打印了下来。” “你没有证据。”那学生气急败坏地说。 我朋友笑了，他把论文拿给他看。用红笔圈出来的是：“也可参阅共产主义一文。” Virtue Many years after receiving my graduate degree, I returned to the State University of New York at Binghamton as a faculty member. One day in a crowded elevator, someone remarked on its inefficiency. I said the elevators had not changed in the 20 years since I began there as a student. When the door finally opened, I felt a passionate pat on my back, and turned to see an elderly nun *** iling at me. "You'll get that degree, dear," she whispered. "Perseverance is a virtue." 美 德 获取研究生学位多年以后，我回到位于宾翰顿的纽约州立大学当教员。一天，电梯里很拥挤，有人抱怨电梯效率太低。我说自我在那里当学生起，20年来电梯一直没有换过。 最后当电梯门打开时，我感到有人在我的背上同情地拍了一下，回过头来我看到一位年长的修女正在朝我微笑。“你会拿到学位的，亲爱的，”她低声说道：“坚持不懈是一种美德。” Difference "I can always tell a graduate class from an undergraduate class," observed the instructor in one of my graduate engineering courses at California State University in Los Angeles. "When I say, 'Good afternoon,' the undergraduates respond, 'Good afternoon." But the graduate students just write it down." 区 别 “研究生班和本科生很容易就能区别开来，”在洛杉矶加利亚州立大学给我们研究生上工程学课的老师如此说。“我说‘下午好’，本科生们回答说‘下午好’。研究生们则把我说的话记在笔记本上。”　Bill is a good student and an intelligent boy. He likes to study arithmetic, and he can do all of the arithmetic problems in his book easily. One day on his way to school Bill passed a fruit store. There was a sign in the window which said, "Apple-Six for five cents." An idea came to Bill and he went into the store. "How much are the les?" he asked the store. "Six for five cents." "But I don't want six les." "How many les do you want?" "It is not a question of how many les I want. It is a problem in arithmetic." "What do you mean by a problem in arithmetic?" asked the man. "Well, if six les are wroth five cents, then five les are worth four cents, four les are worth three cents, three les are worth rwo cents, o les are worth one cent and one le is worth nothing. I only want one le, and if one le is worth nothing then it is not necessary for me to pay you." Bill picked out a good le, began to eat it, and walked hily out of the store. The man looked at the young boy with such surprise that he could not say a word. 比尔是一个好学生，也是个聪明的孩子。他喜欢学数学，课本上所有的数学问题他都能不费劲地解答。 有一天，在上学路上，比尔经过一家水果店。该店窗户上有个招牌上写着：“苹果--五美分六个。”比尔脑筋一转，进了店门。 “苹果怎么卖？” “五美分六个。” “但我不想要六个。” “你想要几个？” “这不是我想要几个的问题。这是个数学问题。” “数学问题？你说这话是什么意思？” “你看，如果六个苹果五美分，那么五个苹果四美分，四个苹果三美分，三个苹果二美分，二个苹果一美分，一个苹果就不要钱。我只要一个苹果，如果一个苹果一分钱也不要的话，那我也就没必要给你钱了。” 比尔拣了一个好苹果，开始吃了起来，然后兴高烈地迈出了店门。那个售货员吃惊地望着这个小男孩，一句话也说不出来。 哑紫风铃 回答纳率:7.3% 2009-05-10 14:25 检举『有一个守财奴，他一生吝啬节俭，积攒了100万元。有一天死神突然降临，要夺去他的生命。守财奴这才意识到自己没有好好享受过人生，他对死神说：“我把我财富的三分之一给你，你买给我一年或者的时间吧。”死神说：“不可能。”守财奴以为死神嫌钱少：“那我把50万给你。”死神说：“不行。”守财奴很着急：“我全给你。”死神依旧说不行。守财奴说：“那请给我一分钟，我要写份遗嘱。”守财奴在纸上写下一行字：“请记住，你所有的财富买不到一天的时间。” 』 A miser, his life mean thrift, sings of 1,000,000 yuan. Death came suddenly one day, it is necessary to take away his life. This did not Scrooge realize that they enjoyed a good life, his death, said: "I'm one-third of my wealth to you, you he to buy me a year's time or it." Death said: "impossible." Death thought that a miser too limited: "I give you 500,000." Death, said: "No way." Scrooge is very worried: "I give you the whole." Death still said no. Miser, said: "Give me a minute, I were to write a will." Miser wrote in his words: "Remember, all your wealth to buy less than a day." '　Big Head “All the kids make fun of me”the boy cried to his mother.“They say I he a big head” “Don't listen to them.”his mother forted him.“You he a beautiful head .Now stop crying and go to the store for ten pounds of potatoes” “Where's the shopping bag?” “I hen't got one,use your hat.” 大脑袋 “所有的孩子都拿我开玩笑，”小男孩哭着跟妈妈说：“他们说我长了一个大脑袋。” “别听他们的，”他妈妈安慰说：“你的脑袋长得很漂亮。好了，别哭了，去商店买10磅土豆来。” “购物袋在哪？” “我没有购物袋，就用你的帽子吧。” Good Boy Little Robert asked his mother for o cents. "What did you do with the money I ge you yesterday?" "I ge it to a poor old woman," he answered. "You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are o cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?" "She is the one who sells the candy." 好孩子 小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。 “昨天给你的钱干什么了？” “我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？” “她是个卖糖果的。” Where is the father? Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings. "Look," said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are!" "Yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?" The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously he was painting the pictures." 父亲在哪儿？ 兄弟俩在看一些漂亮的油画。 “看，”哥哥说，“这些画多漂亮呀！” “是啊，”弟弟说道，“可是在所有这些画中，只有妈妈和孩子。那爸爸去哪儿了呢？” 哥哥想了会儿，然后解释道：“很明显，他当时正在画这些画呗。”

急求英文哲理小故事 越多越好

I'm Trying to Stop It "Boy, why he you got cotton-wool in your ear? Is it infected?" "No, sir, but you said yesterday that everything you told me went in one ear and out the other , so I am trying to stop it." “孩子，你为什么用棉花塞住耳朵？它感染了吗？” “没有，老师。可是你昨天说你告诉我的知识都是一个耳朵里进，一个耳朵里出，所以我要把它堵在里面。” “I'm sorry ，Madam ，but I shall he to charge you enty dollars for pulling your boy's tooth .” “Twenty d ollars! Why ，I understand you to say that you charged only four dollars for such work!” “Yes ，but this youngster yelled so terribly that he scared four other patients out of the office .” “对不起，夫人，为您孩子拔牙我要收取20美元。” “20美元！为什么？不是说好只要4美元。” “是的，但是你的孩子大喊大叫，把另外四个病人吓跑了。” TWO： Teacher：We all know that beat causes an object to expand an cold cauese it to contract. Now，can anyone give me a good example? John：Well ，in the summer the days are long，and in the winter the days are short. 老师：我们都知道热胀冷缩的道理。现在，谁给我举个例子？ 约翰：嗯，在夏天天都长，在冬天天都短。 The lecturer on evolution had been going on for nearly o hours. then he started again, and said he:"Let me ask the evolutionist a question --- if we had tails like a baboon, where are they?" "I'll venture an answer, " said an old lady. "We he worn them off sitting here so long.". 教进化论的老师已经滔滔不绝地讲了快两个小时，他的话题又来了：“让我向进化论者提个问题——如果我们曾经像狒狒那样长着尾巴，那么现在尾巴到哪里去了？” “我来试试看，”一位老太太说。 “该是我们在这里坐这么久把它们磨掉了吧。” 更多的点这个链接 //learning.sohu/yingyuyoumo.s

参考资料：

//learning.sohu/yingyuyoumo.s

急需一篇英文小哲理故事或美文及其感受

原文：两个不如意的年轻人，一起去拜望师父：“师父，我们在办公室里被欺负，太痛苦了，求你开示，我们是不是该辞掉工作？”两个人一起问。

师父闭着眼睛，隔了半天，吐出五个字：“不过一碗饭”。就挥挥手，示意年轻人退下。

刚回到公司，一个人就递上辞呈，回家种田，另一个没动。日子真快，转眼十年过去了。回家种田的以现代方法经营，加上品种改良，居然成了农业专家。另一个留在公司的，也不差。他忍着气，努力学，渐渐受到器重，成了经理。

有一天，两个人遇到了。农业专家说：“奇怪，师父给我们同样‘不过一碗饭’这五个字，我一听就懂了，不过一碗饭嘛，日子有什么难过？何必硬巴在公司？所以我辞职了。”他问另一个人：“你当时为何没听师父的话呢？”“我听了啊”，那经理笑道，师父说：“不过一碗饭”，多受气，多受累，我只要想：不过为了混碗饭吃，老板说什么是什么，少赌气，少计较，就成了，师父不是这个意思吗？”

两个人又去拜望师父，师父已经很老了，仍然闭着眼睛。隔了半天，答了五个字：“不过一念间”。

评：所有烦恼，都是放不下的执著。当你决定放下，你不会失去任何东西，失去的只有烦恼。

The two young people go to the full, call on the teacher: "teacher, we in the office, too painful to be bullied by, for advice, we are this to quit her job?" Two others asked.

The master eyes closed, the along while, spit out the five words: "but a bowl of rice". Just wed his hand for young people to stand down.

Just return to the company, a person will pass in his resignation, home, another farm didn't move. Day is fast, ten years. Home to modern methods of farming business, add variety improvement, actually become agricultural experts. Another in the company, not too bad. He endured the gas, and the effort to learn, gradually, became the manager s valued.

One day, the two men met. Agriculture experts say: "strange, the teacher give us the same 'but a bowl of rice' this five words, I listen carefully to understand, but a bowl of rice, well, what's sad day? Why? So hard and I quit my job." He asked another: "you were why didn't listen to the master's words?" "I listened to the ah", the manager say with smile, the teacher say: "but a bowl of rice", many suffer indignities, more involvement, as long as I wanted to: but to mixing bowl of rice to eat, the boss said that what's what, less in anger, less dispute, became, the master is not that what you mean? "

Two men and go on teacher, teacher is very old, still closed eyes. Every along while, answer the five words: "but a read between.

Review: all my troubles, are not put inflexible. When you decide to put down, you won't lose anything, lost only worry.

英文：

马克吐温幽默英文小故事

石头和沙子

两个朋友结伴穿越沙漠，旅途中二人突然吵了起来，其中一个掴了对方一记耳光。被打的人感到自己受了伤害，但什么也没有说，只是在沙地上写下了这样一句话：“今天我最好的朋友掴了我耳光。他们继续前行，看见到处绿洲，他们正打算在那里洗澡时，刚才被打的人不小心陷入了泥潭，开始深陷，他的朋友救了他。等他从几近淹死的边缘苏醒过来后，他在石头上刻下：“今天我最好的朋友救了我的命。”他的朋友问：“为什么我伤你之后，你在沙子上写字，现在却把字刻在石头上？” 他回答道：“当有人伤害了我们，我们应该把它写进沙里，宽恕的风会把仇恨抹去。而当有人为我们做了好事，我们应当把它刻在石头上，没有风可以将它抹去。”

Sand and Stone

The story goes that two friends were walking through the desert. During some point of the journey they had an argument, and one friend sled the other one in the face.

The one who got sled was hurt, but without saying anything, wrote in the sand: "Today my best friend sled me in the face."

They kept on walking until they found an oasis, where they decided to take a bath. The one who had been sled got stuck in the mire and started drowning, but the friend sed him.

After he recovered from the near drowning, he wrote on a stone: "Today my best friend sed my life."

The friend who had sled and sed his best friend asked him, "After I hurt you, you wrote in the sand and now you write on a stone. Why?"

The other friend replied: "When someone hurts us we should write it down in sand where winds of forgiveness can erase it away. But when someone does something good for us, we must engre it in stone where no wind can ever erase it."

LEARN TO WRITE YOUR HURTS IN THE SAND AND TO CARVE YOUR BENEFITS IN STONE.

They say it takes a minute to find a special person an hour to reciate them, a day to love them, but an entire life to forget them.

Send this phrase to the people you'll never forget. It's a short message to let them know that you'll never forget them

Take the time to live.

·读后感·

我想

关于朋友 是我们生命的重要角色 我们应该文中所说那样

不要计较太多

学会将你所受到的伤害写在沙子上,把所得的恩泽刻在石头上。

I think

Our life is about friends said that we should play an important role in it

Don't care much

Learn to write your hurts in the sand and to carve your benefits in stone.

英语小故事 5分钟 要有哲理的或有趣的

1－－Mark Twain in a reception response to a reporter's question, said : "The United States Congress is some dog * - dependence. "He will press the case made public. Washington must Members Mark Twain published in a newspaper revelation, apologized. Mark Twain wrote such an announcement before : I speak on the banquet, said that some members of Congress are raising dogs mother, I thought think that statement is inropriate, but not the facts. Thedeen reported statement, I say as follows : The United States Congress is not some mother custody of the dog. 2－－Mark Twain once with a wife sitting, he said to her : "Do you really beautiful," Mrs. arrogant answer : "Unfortunately, I can not equally praising you. "Mark Twain do not mind at all and said laughingly :" Lady, If, like me telling lies there. "　车票? 马克吐温一次乘车外出，火车开得很慢。当查票员过来查票时，马克吐温递给他一张儿童票。查票员调侃道：“我还真没看出您还是个孩子呢！”? 马克吐温回答：“现在我已经不是孩子了，但我买票上车时还是个孩子哩。” 广告? 一位商界阔佬对马克吐温说：“我想借助您的大名，给敝公司做个广告。”马克吐温说：“当然可以。”? 第二天在马克吐温主办的报纸上登出了如下文字：? 一只母苍蝇有两个儿子。她把这两个儿子视若掌上明珠，爱护备至。一天，母子三个飞到某某商业公司的商店里。一只小苍蝇去品尝包装精美的糖果，忽然双翅颤抖落下来，一命呜呼！另一只小苍蝇去吃香肠，不料也一头栽倒，顷刻毙命。母苍蝇痛不欲生，扑到一张苍蝇纸上意欲自杀，尽管大吃大嚼，结果却安然无恙！? 阔佬看完广告，气得直翻白眼。 必须站着? 马克吐温有一次到一个小城市演讲，他决定在演讲之前先理理发。? “你喜欢我们这个城市吗？”理发师问他。? “啊！喜欢，这是一个很好的地方。”马克吐温说。“您来得很巧，”理发师继续说，“马克吐温今天晚上要发表演讲，我想您一定是想去听听喽？”? “是的。”马克吐温说。? “您弄到票了吗？”? “还没有。”? “这可太遗憾了！”理发师耸了耸肩膀，两手一摊，惋惜地说：“那您只好从头到尾站着了，因为那里不会有空座位。”? “对！”幽默大师说，“和马克吐温在一起可真糟糕，他一演讲我就只能永远站着。” 登记? 马克吐温有一天来到一个小城市，他想找一家旅馆过夜。旅馆服务台上的职员请他将名字写到旅客登记簿上。? 马克吐温先看了一下登记簿，他发现很多旅客都是这样登记的，比如：拜特福公爵和他的仆人……? 这位著名的作家于是也写道：“马克吐温和他的箱子。” 马克?吐温收到一封信.这是一位青年人写来的,他想向马克?吐温请教成为大作家的诀窍.信中说:"听说鱼含大量的磷质,而磷是有利于脑子的.看来要成为一个大作家,一定要吃很多鱼吧?但不知道你究竟吃的什么鱼,又吃了多少呢?"?马克?吐温回信说:"看来,你得吃一条鲸才行." 一次偶然的机会，马克·吐温与雄辩家琼西·m·得彪应邀参加同一晚宴。 席上演讲开始了，琼西·m·得彪滔滔不绝，情感丰富他讲了20分钟，赢得了一片热烈的掌声。然后轮到马克·吐温演讲。 马克·吐温站起来，面有难色地说：“诸位，实在抱歉，会前琼西·m·得彪先生约我互换演讲稿，所以诸位刚才听到的是我的演讲，衷心感谢诸位认真的倾听及热情的捧场。然而，不知何故，我找不到琼西·m·得彪先生的讲稿，因此我无法替他讲了。请诸位原谅我坐下。” 法国名人波盖取笑美国人历史太短，说：“美国人没事的时候，往往喜欢怀念祖宗，可是一想到祖父一代，就不能不打住了。” 马克·吐温回敬说：“法国人没事的时候，总是想弄清他们的父亲是谁，可是很难弄清楚。” 当马克·吐温还是一个不大知名的作家时，有人把他介绍给格兰特将军。? 两人握过手后，马克·吐温想不出一句可讲的话，而格兰特也保持平日的那种缄默态度。最后还是马克·吐温结结巴巴地说了一句：“将军，我感到很尴尬，你呢？”? 马克·吐温外出乘车。当列车员检查车票时，他翻遍了每个衣袋，也没有找到自己的车票。刚好这个列?车员认识他，于是就安慰马克·吐温说：“没关系，如果您实在找不到车票，那也不碍事。”?“咳！怎么不碍事，我必须找到那张该死的车票，不然的话，我?怎么知道自己要到哪儿去呢？” 马克·吐温常常向人说起他小时候的一段伤心往事。据说，马克·吐温出生时是双胞胎，他和他的双胞胎兄弟两人长得一模一样，连他们的母亲也分辨不出来。 有一天，保姆为他们洗澡时，其中一个不小心跌入浴缸淹死了，没有人知道淹死的究竟是双胞胎中的哪一个。? “最叫人伤心的就在这里。”马克·吐温说，“每个人都以为我是那个活下来的人，其实我不是。活下来的是我弟弟。那个淹死的人是我。” 曾有一位专门喜欢在细节上吹毛求疵的批评家指责马克·吐温说谎。马克·吐温回答说：如你自己不会说谎，没有说谎的本领，对谎话是怎样说的一点知识都没有，你是怎样判断我是说谎呢？只有在这方面经验丰富的人，才有权这样明目张胆地武断指责。” 一次马克吐温应邀赴宴。? 席间，他对一位贵妇说：“夫人，你太美丽了！”不料那妇人却说：“先生，可是遗憾得很，我不能用同样的话回答你。”?头脑灵敏，言辞犀利的马克·吐温笑着回答：“那没关系，你也可以像我一样说话。”? 有一次，别人问马克·吐温，是否记得他第一次是怎样挣到钱的。? 他想了很久，然后说：“对，我还记得很清楚，那是我在小学读书的时候。那时，小学生们都不尊重自己的老师，而且不爱惜学校的财产，经常弄坏桌椅。于是我们学校就订出一条规则，凡是有哪个学生用铅笔或小刀弄坏了桌椅，那么他就将在全校学生面前受到挨打处分，或者罚款伍元。一天，我弄坏了我的书桌，只好对父亲说，我犯了校规，要么罚伍元，要么在全校学生面前受到挨打处分。父亲说当着全校学生的面挨打真是太丢脸了，他答应给我五块钱，让我交给学校。但是在给我这五块钱之前，他把我带到楼上，地揍了我一顿。我想，我既然已经挨过一顿打，于是决定当着全校学生的面再挨一顿，以便把那五块钱保存下来。我真的这样做了，那就是我第一次挣到的钱。” 马克·吐温在著名画家惠斯勒的画室参观时，伸手去摸了一下一幅油画。 惠斯勒装着生气地喊道：“当心！难道你看不出这幅画还没干吗？” “啊，没关系，反正我戴着手套。”马克·吐温答道。? 马克·吐温爱上了头发乌黑，美貌惊人的莉薇**，他们在1870年2月2日举行婚礼。婚后不久，马克·吐温给友人写信，在信中，他不?无幽默感地说：“如果一个人结婚后的全部生活都和他们一样幸福的话，那么我算是白白浪费了30年的时光，如一切能从头开始，那么我将会?在呀呀学语的婴儿时期就结婚，而不会把时间荒废在磨牙和打碎瓶瓶罐罐上。” 马克·吐温在美国的密苏里州办报时，有一次，一?位读者在他的报纸中发现了一只蜘蛛，便写信询问马克·?吐温，看是否是吉兆或凶兆。马克·吐温回信道——“亲?爱的先生，您在报纸里发现一只蜘蛛，这既不是吉兆，也不是凶兆。这只蜘蛛只不过是想在报纸上看看哪家商人未作广告，好到他家里去结网，过安静日子罢了。”

The Old Cat

An old woman had a cat. The cat was very old; she could not run quickly, and she could not bite, because she was so old. One day the old cat saw a mouse; she jumped and caught the mouse. But she could not bite it; so the mouse got out of her mouth and ran away, because the cat could not bite it.

Then the old woman became very angry because the cat had not killed the mouse. She began to hit the cat. The cat said, "Do not hit your old servant. I he worked for you for many years, and I would work for you still, but I am too old. Do not be unkind to the old, but remember what good work the old did when they were young."

老猫

一位老妇有只猫，这只猫很老，它跑不快了，也咬不了东西，因为它年纪太大了。一天，老猫发现一只老鼠，它跳过去抓这只老鼠，然而，它咬不住这只老鼠。因此，老鼠从它的嘴边溜掉了，因为老猫咬不了它。

于是，老妇很生气，因为老猫没有把老鼠咬死。她开始打这只猫，猫说：“不要打你的老仆人，我已经为你服务了很多年，而且还愿意为你效劳，但是，我实在太老了，对年纪大的不要这么无情，要记住老年人在年青时所做过的有益的事情。”

A man was going to the house of some rich person. As he went along the road, he saw a box of good les at the side of the road. He said, "I do not want to eat those les; for the rich man will give me much food; he will give me very nice food to eat." Then he took the les and threw them away into the dust.

He went on and came to a river. The river had become very big; so he could not go over it. He waited for some time; then he said, "I cannot go to the rich man's house today, for I cannot get over the river."

He began to go home. He had eaten no food that day. He began to want food. He came to the les, and he was glad to take them out of the dust and eat them.

Do not throw good things away; you may be glad to he them at some other time.

一个人正朝着一个富人的房子走去，当他沿着路走时，在路的一边他发现一箱好苹果，他说：“我不打算吃那些苹果，因为富人会给我更多的食物，他会给我很好吃的东西。”然后他拿起苹果，一把扔到土里去。

他继续走，来到河边，河涨水了，因此，他到不了河对岸，他等了一会儿，然后他说：“今天我去不了富人家了，因为我不能渡过河。”

他开始回家，那天他没有吃东西。他就开始去找吃的，他找到苹果，很高兴地把它们从尘土中翻出来吃了。

不要把好东西扔掉，换个时候你会觉得它们大有用处。

The City Mouse and the Country Mouse

Once there were two mice. They were friends. One mouse lived in the country; the other mouse lived in the city. After many years the Country mouse saw the City mouse; he said, "Do come and see me at my house in the country." So the City mouse went. The City mouse said, "This food is not good, and your house is not good. Why do you live in a hole in the field? You should come and live in the city. You would live in a nice house made of stone. You would he nice food to eat. You must come and see me at my house in the city."

The Country mouse went to the house of the City mouse. It was a very good house. Nice food was set ready for them to eat. But just as they began to eat they heard a great noise. The City mouse cried, " Run! Run! The cat is coming!" They ran away quickly and hid.

After some time they came out. When they came out, the Country mouse said, "I do not like living in the city. I like living in my hole in the field. For it is nicer to be poor and hy, than to be rich and afraid."

城里老鼠和乡下老鼠

从前，有两只老鼠，它们是好朋友。一只老鼠居住在乡村，另一只住在城里。很多年以后，乡下老鼠碰到城里老鼠，它说：“你一定要来我乡下的家看看。”于是，城里老鼠就去了。乡下老鼠领着它到了一块田地上它自己的家里。它把所有最精美食物都找出来给城里老鼠。城里老鼠说：“这东西不好吃，你的家也不好，你为什么住在田野的地洞里呢？你应该搬到城里去住，你能住上用石头造的漂亮房子，还会吃上美味佳肴，你应该到我城里的家看看。”

乡下老鼠就到城里老鼠的家去。房子十分漂亮，好吃的东西也为他们摆好了。可是正当他们要开始吃的时候，听见很大的一阵响声，城里的老鼠叫喊起来：“快跑！快跑！猫来了！”他们飞快地跑开躲藏起来。

过了一会儿，他们出来了。当他们出来时，乡下老鼠说：“我不喜欢住在城里，我喜欢住在田野我的洞里。因为这样虽然贫穷但是快乐自在，比起虽然富有却要过着提心吊胆的生活来说，要好些。”

Teacher:Why are you late for school every morning?

Tom:Every time I come to the corner,a sign says,"School-Go slow".

老师:为什么你每天早晨都迟到?

汤姆:每当我经过学校的拐角处,就看见一个牌子上写着"学校----慢行".

A Good Boy

Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I ge you yesterday?"

"I ge it to a poor old woman," he answered.

"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"

"She is the one who sells the candy."

好孩子

小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。

“昨天给你的钱干什么了？”

“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？”

“她是个卖糖果的。”

Drunk

One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk."

"But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"

醉酒

一天，父亲与小儿子一道回家。这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄，老是有提不完的问题。他向父亲发问道：“爸爸，‘醉’字是什么意思？” “唔，孩子，”父亲回答说，“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。如果我把他们看成了四个，那么我就算醉了。” “可是，爸爸， ”孩子说，“那儿只有一个警察呀！”

本文到此结束，希望对大家有所帮助。